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I'm glad I'm not normal.I remember the 7th grade. I tried everything I could to "fit in". I joined the football team until I found out a bully was on the team (though soon kicked off). I went to the dances. I tried my best to meet girls. But I was horrible at it. I never had the confidence (still hasn't improved too much either).
Well, I never seemed to 'fit in' with the cool people. I played Dungeons & Dragons, listened to Elvis Presley and later "Wierd" Al. But I always wanted to be one with the coolest.
Finally, my senior year, I had the chance. I moved to Italy to live with my mom on an American military base. No one knew me, so it was the start of a brand new experience and life! I was excited as could be. I started meeting people, dressed 'cool' for a change, and ye know what...even with a graduating class of 50, I wasn't going to 'fit in'.
So when I got to college, I think I tried for a year or two, but eventually, I realized it was cool to be me. I was glad that I didn't care to go out every night and get plastered. I was happy that I had a different look on life. I was thrilled that my sheltered and repressed childhood and sheltered and repressed me. Because it's a part of me.
Now that I'm single again, I do try to dress up a bit, but I don't change my appearance. I dress as I see fit. I wear my jeans to work. I play the autoharp. I write songs that are for me. I am in control of my own existence...for better or worse.
But above all I am happy that I have that freedom to do as I see fit. To flirt or smile as I choose. To have slightly 'different' musical tastes. To have friends that many of people might look down upon. And that's okay. Because they are my friends and I'm proud of each of them. And I feel breathless with joy that they have no interest in trying to change me.
Posted by Marc Gunn on Friday, November 08, 2002 |
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if you have any questions, I'd be happy
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Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
