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Please Take My Heart and Play Squash With ItI got a couple o'responses to yesterday's journal which is nice to hear. It's always cool to know people are reading your thoughts...for better or worse. ;)
One person mentioned the very thing I did yesterday. A friend had 'fallen' for someone after just a couple dates. As I've said, I can totally relate to that though. I used to do the same thing before my Ex-fiancee.
I think it stems from lack of maturity in relationships. My guess is that there are a lot of people out there who just haven't dated much. For me, it was the fact that I lacked confidence in myself. I'm sure many others are the same.
Others, no doubt, look in the wrong direction for romance. They find their ideals and are afraid of potential persecutions if the person they date does not meet with their perceived standards of what kinda of person they should be with.
I missed out on several potential romances due to that bizarre questioning. I remember one girl who was slightly over-weight and a bit of an outcast in high school. We never hooked up, but she was a very sweet person and looking back, we probably would've gotten along great in a relationship.
Many years ago, I was an Amway distributor. I learned some good things from Amway despite the "brainwashing". One thing I learned was it's all a numbers game. The more people you can date, the more you will find out more about who you want. I've been going out on a lot "dates" with people who I know want match up well with me. But I figure, "What the hell?!" I have to start somewhere. I know many of the characteristics I love were in my Ex. She was almost the perfect woman for me. But not quite.
Is there a perfect woman for me out there? Maybe. But the only way I'll find her is by meeting and dating new people. Finding what I like and what I don't like.
To some degree, it's like one of my favorite movies of all time, "Groundhog Day" where Bill Murray must relive the same day over and over until he gets it right.
Dating is kinda the same thing. And yet most people don't take the time to date around. They find one person and focus all their efforts instead of keeping their options open. But then, dating is not an easy thing.
For me, the only thing I think I have in my favor is that I have a minor "celebrity" status. I seriously doubt I'd get tenth as many dates if I wasn't known...especially since most of the women I'm currently dating are fans! Or woman I've met while performing.
Fact is I still don't have much confidence at asking out a stranger. The whole idea of giving "a line" is repulsive to me. I'd much rather stand out and have someone approach me than have to go up and try to come up with some B.S. small talk. small talkOkay, I admit it hate small talk. Part of being stuck in front of a computer all day is you don't get much time to practice social skills, and small talk is one that I just don't even Want to practice.
Let's talk about something real or nada.
Okay, maybe that's not realistic and occasionally I do debase myself to small talk, but I really detest it. So how do you avoid it?
Get to know more people. Join organizations that force you into a working relationship or an environment where you have to meet people. And never put all your eggs in one basket until you both are certain ya'll are the one for each other.
But the other problem encountered is no one wants to be alone. They'd rather date someone completely different from them than to have to play the singles game. I think the sooner you learn to be comfortable alone, and know you don't "need" someone, the sooner you will find that special someone who matches your personality.
Okay, I've blabbed long enough for now. Let's write a poem...on...the color blue...and Pekingeses...
Posted by Marc Gunn on Tuesday, November 26, 2002 |
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Well
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Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
