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Well I guess I get to re-express myself. I wrote this wonderful long dissertation, but I guess it wasn't enough because I hit a wrong button and it deleted. DOH! So let's try again. A Toast to the Lonely and DepressedYesterday afternoon, a friend told me that his recent relationship with a woman ended. He was devasted and feeling very lonely. But by the end of the day, they were back together taking it "one day at a time."
It made me think of my relationship with My Ex-fiancee. My Ex and I kept putting off the BIG stuff with the hope that it would some day go away or something. But it eventually it caught up with us. And that's the very thing that hit me when we broke up. I was feeling like I would be lonely forever. And who knows, maybe I will.
But now tha I am, I still don't miss being single. Sure I have the freedom to date lots of women, but the constant wondering whether this person "likes" you, or the worry that you might not "get some" is just ridiculous. It's a pain in the arse.
That's why I'm doing my best to be as honest in relationships as possible. If I can't, then I tell them to come here. Because the last thing I want to do with my journal is compromise the honesty that I feel I can relate. Yeah, it's likely to hurt people, and that's not my intent. But I enjoy sharing all my thoughts and that to me is priceless.
But the loneliness seems way to common. I was talking to another friend about it. There are a bunch of beautiful and sweet people who might be single, or end up settling for some substandard person, or just the wrong person altogether. And it makes you wonder who the "right" person really is?
Will I ever find that "right" person? Coming from the lonely person I am, God, I hope so. I so love the company of others, but I can't deny that I need a LOT of quite time. I need time to be alone with my thoughts. I need time to be lonely, so that I'm forced to thing about life, music, relationships, and more.
That's one thing that was delightful about my three day romance with The Lady in Green. I felt confident in the fact that I had someone. So I could go out and "date" or rather "hang out" without any pressure.
Now that that's over though, the feeling continues. I'm no longer worried about or trying to "getting laid" or even finding the "perfect mate". I'm just looking for friends, people to hang out with while still making time for me.
A long time ago, I resigned myself to the fact that I'd be forever alone. Then I met my Ex. Now I resigned myself to the fact that it's no rush. Yeah, there are people who excite me beyond belief, but only time will tell, and only God knows for sure if this or that was meant to be. Picture Perfect Well, I had planned on going out to see Austin Powers with Caitlin, but fortunately, that was delayed till next week. I needed the time alone. Even though all I did was chat on email pretty much. At least I got to spend it alone with my thoughts.
But I did do a wee bit more. In fact, I finally put together a small little photo gallery featuring a few of the pictures my Ex had taken of me. Most are pretty recent.
I also finally decided to buy some CDs that I've been wanting for a while, including music by Joni Mitchell, Enya, Sinead O'Connor and Black 47. Some MenSome men talk. Other men brag.
Some men are best when they want to shag.
I won't claim that I'm the best. Nor am I the king.
Because all this poor boy can do is sing.
I'll a sing a love song especially for you.
I'll breathe life to the words. They'll flow in and out of you.
I'll sing with passion and make your heart beat.
I"ll sing you a lullaby and hold you while you sleep.
Some men build mountains. Some men lay bricks.
Others lay women without taking a pick.
I won't try to seduce you or string you along.
I'll only juice you with my love song.
Some men are strong. Some men are rich.
Others burn ladies like a Salem witch.
I won't try to burn you, but I will warm your heart.
With a song that will comfort you. A melody set apart.
Some men work hard. Some men work smart.
Others work women over then tear them apart.
I won't work against you. But a song I will whisper
That will repair the would that made you blister.
Posted by Marc Gunn on Friday, November 15, 2002 |
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Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
