The Virgin's Conniption

by Drunken Damsels

The Drunken Damsels were getting sick and tired of poor mistreated lassies being eaten by dragons in the song "Do Virgins Taste Better" and "The Dragon's Retort" so they wrote their own parody with the same "Irish Washerwoman" melody.

Oh, I am a virgin with something to say
I'm quite tired of being mistreated this way
I've got a complaint, you might have a hunch
I really don't like being offered as lunch

"Just a date with a bachelor for dinner and chat,"
They told me but clearly, this is not that
I've been chained to a wagon and left all alone
To wait for some dragon to come crunch my bones

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
We're no good for eating, we're not a la carte
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

The priest always told me to stay chaste and pure
Good advice I once thought, but now I'm not sure
There's no great concern for my moral will
He just has a space on his menu to fill

His sermons they told me my virtue to keep
But I'm finding out that this priest's talk is cheap
He's made me a part of the dragon's meal plan
Oh, why did I never give in to my man?

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
We're no good for eating, we're not a la carte
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

I'm really not happy with this turn of events
It's got me all nervous, I'm feeling so tense
Now myth says the dragon is really quite nice
I'd agree if it weren't that I'm standing in rice

The dragon says virgins are sweetest in taste
I think this decision was made in some haste
If you are just dying for a savory sweet
Roll a harlot in sugar, now that's quite a treat

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
Untie me at once, get me off of this cart!!!
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
Another complaint, we don't understand
Hey, why is the virgin not ever a man?!

Labels: song_lyrics

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posted by Marc Gunn @ Monday, October 08, 2007