Marc Gunn Bard Lore : Modern Poetry Love Poems : Funny Poetry

If I Were A Horse
Yes, this is a simply ridiculous song. I actually wrote it for a music theory class I took. I think I got a B for my effort. Apparently, he wanted something that was a little bit more classical. Ah well, it was fun. ^pop (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 1728)

Middle Earth Bragging Song
I wrote this at the end of last month. Didn't think we'd have time to record it for the Tolkien CD, but it makes me smile. One of the funny things I noticed reading Lord of the Rings was that every time Frodo and company met another race, they seemed to be the OLDEST. It started to get funny. So I wrote this as a bragging song of the races of Middle Earth. ^pop (Added: 16-Mar-2003 Hits: 1370)

My Curse
There we were driving back from Thanksgiving and my family when I had to go to the bathroom sooo bad! So in an effort to try and forget about my need, I wrote a silly poem about bladder control. It didn't help much... ^pop (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 1422)

Angel's Lament
A parody of 'How's It Gonna Be' by Third Eye Blind. This song is a howling tribute to Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and her once true vampiric love, Angel. Incidentally, this song was written before Angel was killed, and before he got his own TV series! I thought it would be the perfect parody since How's It Gonna Be includes an autoharp in their recording, and, of course, I play autoharp! I posted chords for Angel's Lament on the Brobdingnagian Bards website. (Added: 23-Aug-2004 Hits: 389)

Big Strong Cat (My Puddy Tat Sylvester)
This cat song is based on the Irish folk song, "Big Strong Man (My Brother Sylvest)". Okay, growing up I was never much of a fan of Sylvester the Cat. But I was much less of fan of Tweety Bird. So I decided to give Tweety Bird the bird in this comical song that captures my love of cartoons. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 616)

Blue Popcorn and Pekingeses
This poem has a very serious message behind it...no, wait. My mistake. This poem has NO serious message behind. That's what I meant to say. I just wanted to write a poem very stream-of-conscious-like. And I succeeded. For that matter, don't even bother reading it. It's not worth your time. (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 1011)

Catnipping Green
This cat song is based on the Irish folk song, "Fiddler's Green". It tells the story of a cat dreaming about the afterlife, a sorta heaven for cats with milk and catnip and all the luxuries a cat could possibly enjoy. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 3-May-2004 Hits: 375)

Danny Boy (cat parody)
This cat song is based on the Irish American folk song, "Danny Boy". Many people don't realize that cats are largely nocturnal creatures. This is the reason they are most active in the middle of the night... and three in the morning when you're trying to sleep. This song is inspired by those sleepless nights. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 505)

Furagone's Wake
Based on the Irish folk song, "Finnegan's Wake", this cat song tells the story of a Sphynx Cat who loses his ninth life. His fellow cats gather for a wake that turns into one big cat fight. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 354)

Johnny at the Door
I was trying to write a good Irish drinking song, and this song flowed out of me almost immediately. Captures a couple important themes in Irish traditiona songs, beer and death brought back to life. (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 797)

Monster in My Mirror (The Ernie Song)
I was wondering what would Ernie, the muppet from Sesame Street, be like if he was a manic depressive, so I wrote a song. All alone, Ernie looks into a mirror and sees Harry the monster, and gets really depressed. It has a very child-like sound to the recording. But the Ernie imitation makes it kinda amusing and popular among friends. (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 858)

Ode to a Nut
This song is about the nuts I love to eat. You'd think I was a squirrel. But how I love to horde them, especially around Christmas time. (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 868)

PEZ (candy)
Comical song written by friend Johannes for our band, Skander. It's about the beloved candy, and many faces of Pez candy. (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 770)

Pleasant Peasant Pheasant Plucking Song
A few days ago I got a reminder email. A woman had emailed me "a year and a day ago" about how she heard a fun song called "The Pheasant Plucking Song". She thought it'd be cool for us to have a "Pleasant Peasant Pheasant Plucking Song". Okay, I admit it. Sometimes I just nod and smile when people make requests. I don't have time to write them all. But I took a break this week and said, "what the heck", and wrote this tongue twister. (Added: 26-Jun-2003 Hits: 657)

Rhapsody in Ritalin
The idea of Ritalin as a drug to calm hyperactivity combined with my own occasional space cadet feelings, helped me come up with a song about A.D.D. (Attention Deficiency Disorder). But I guess I couldn't focus long enough to remember that it is a "disorder" not a "syndrome". Ah well... (Added: 18-Mar-2003 Hits: 488)

The Call of the Bodice
Not too long ago at faire, some joked about 'the call of the bodice'. It was too darn funny not to turn it into a nice foreboding poem about the dangers of bodices. (Added: 2-Nov-2003 Hits: 566)

The Cat Came Back... The Cat's Perspective
This cat song melody is based on the Irish folk song, "The Moonshiner". The story is based on "The Cat Came Back", but sung from the cat's perspective about an old yellow Tabby cat that just wants to grow old in piece, but old Mr. Johnson seems to have it out for the poor kitty. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 444)

The Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
I was flying on a plane to Italy and tired of trying to come up with song ideas for Memories of Middle Earth when I decided to listen to the airline music. I flipped channels, heard an old blues song, turned off the music and wrote this comical song based on Gollum of the Lord of the Rings. (Added: 16-Mar-2003 Hits: 803)

When Kitty Eyes Are Smiling
This cat song is based on the Irish American folk song and St Patrick's Day song favorite, "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling". The songs is a joyful look at the playful and sometimes distructive, but always sweet nature of cats. Look for it on my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers CD. (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 384)

Wild Kitty
The first of my Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers. This cat song is based on the Irish folk song "Wild Rover". This song tells of cat who is out searching for food, but instead just finds himself with drinking problem. The chorus is incredible fun! (Added: 18-Apr-2004 Hits: 410)

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