"Drunken Scotsman" or more commonly known as "The Scotsman" was a song I first heard from sung by Bryan Bowers...an autoharper. I think I first heard it on a morning radio show in the 80s, but Dr. Demento loves it and you now find it all over the world sung by Scots- and kiltophiles. The Brobdingnagian Bards recorded it for A Faire to Remember. Then, I filked it with "What Do You Do With a Drunken Scotsman" on our LIVE CD.

The Scotsman (aka Drunken Scotsman)
by Mike Cross

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

Find more Irish song lyrics here.

words by Frank Loesser, music by Hoagy Carmichael

I don't remember where I first heard this song. But my favorite version was in the movie BIG. But I was really surprised to find out that there were lyrics to the song. I started singing it and I sounded like Jimmy Durante. But I soon worked out an arrangement for my CD, "A Tribute to Love".

Heart and soul, I fell in love with you
Heart and soul, the way a fool would do, madly
Because you held me tight
And stole a kiss in the night

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored
Lost control, and tumbled overboard, gladly
That magic night we kissed
There in the moon mist

Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling
Never before were mine so strangely willing

But now I see, what one embrace can do
Look at me, it's got me loving you madly
That little kiss you stole
Held all my heart and soul

by Drunken Damsels

The Drunken Damsels were getting sick and tired of poor mistreated lassies being eaten by dragons in the song "Do Virgins Taste Better" and "The Dragon's Retort" so they wrote their own parody with the same "Irish Washerwoman" melody.

Oh, I am a virgin with something to say
I'm quite tired of being mistreated this way
I've got a complaint, you might have a hunch
I really don't like being offered as lunch

"Just a date with a bachelor for dinner and chat,"
They told me but clearly, this is not that
I've been chained to a wagon and left all alone
To wait for some dragon to come crunch my bones

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
We're no good for eating, we're not a la carte
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

The priest always told me to stay chaste and pure
Good advice I once thought, but now I'm not sure
There's no great concern for my moral will
He just has a space on his menu to fill

His sermons they told me my virtue to keep
But I'm finding out that this priest's talk is cheap
He's made me a part of the dragon's meal plan
Oh, why did I never give in to my man?

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
We're no good for eating, we're not a la carte
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

I'm really not happy with this turn of events
It's got me all nervous, I'm feeling so tense
Now myth says the dragon is really quite nice
I'd agree if it weren't that I'm standing in rice

The dragon says virgins are sweetest in taste
I think this decision was made in some haste
If you are just dying for a savory sweet
Roll a harlot in sugar, now that's quite a treat

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
Untie me at once, get me off of this cart!!!
Do virgins taste better, oh no we do not!

You say virgins taste better than those who are not
But we're lacking in flavor, we're not quite as tart
Another complaint, we don't understand
Hey, why is the virgin not ever a man?!

Listen: LoFi | Download | Email It | Chords | Donate
From: A Tribute to Love

words and music traditional

Near to Banbridge Town, in the County Down
One morning last July,
Down a boreen green came a sweet colleen,
And she smiled as she passed me by;
Well, she looked so sweet from her two bare feet
To the sheen of her nut-brown hair;
Such a coaxing elf, sure I shook myself
To make sure I was really there.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay,
And from Galway to Dublin town,
No maid I've seen like the sweet colleen
That I met in the County Down.

As she onward sped, sure I shook my head
And I looked with a feeling rare.
Then I said, says I, to a passer-by,
"Who's the maid with the nut-brown hair?"
Well, he smiled at me, and with pride says he,
"That's the gem of old Ireland's crown,
She's young Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann,
She's the Star of the County Down."

Well I've traveled a bit, but ne'er was hit
Since my roving career began;
Then fair and square I surrendered there
To the charms of young Rose McCann.
I'd a heart to let and no tenant yet
Did I see in shawl or gown,
But in she went and I asked no rent
From the Star of the County Down.

At the harvest fair, I'll be surely there
And I'll dress in my Sunday clothes
With my shoes shone bright, and my hat cocked right
For a smile from my nut-brown Rose.
No pipe I'll smoke, and no horse I'll yoke
Though with rust my plow turns brown,
Till a smiling bride by my own fireside
Sits the Star of the County Down.

*from the Irish Songs Lyrics website*

Yay! I finished it. Just under the wire too.

Today, I finished recording my newest song called, "She Said Her Name Was Saffron". If you missed the entry, the song was written about Saffron, the beautiful and dangerous woman from Firefly's "Our Mrs. Reynolds". Awesome episode! SerenityStuff.com was holding a contest for a song about Saffron and so I wrote the song while in Ireland and fortunately, sang it enough to remember it after I lost my notebook.

The song is now done. You can listen to the MP3 on SoundClick now.

As I was recording the song last night, I thought that maybe since Firefly is a Space Western, maybe I should sing the song with a country accent. Ultimately, I decided I preferred the more ethereal version with my own voice. But for comparison...

She Said Her Name Was Saffron
Listen: LoFi Original version
Listen: LoFi Country version

Buy It! Three Movie and TV Songs for Geeks Like Me

She Said Her Name Was Saffron
words Marc Gunn, music traditional (tune "May Morning Dew")

I met her on the Outer Rim.
She was a beauty. There's no denial.
We danced around the fire that night.
In the morning, I awoke all smiles.
But when my boat hit atmo,
And she said that we were married.
Twas then I vowed I'd never again
Leave quick when I should tarry.

She said her name was Saffron,
A prize for work done well.
I know we'd done some good works,
But this time we must've excelled.
For her smile it made my legs week
And her breasts they made me weeze
Oh if I was a different man,
Then I'd show her the Real me.

That night I found her in my bunk
Lying naked in my bed.
She gave me the Goodnight Kiss
And I thought that I was dead.
We'd all be but for Inyara...
Oh, I wonder how she knew?
But what I really wish is I could've seen
The kiss between those two.

But that's not the point of this song, right now,
From this lesson I learned too well.
If you take strange women into your bed
You may end up in the Special Hell.
Either pin her down or set her free
Just don't let your plan go South.
If that doesn't work, then follow Jayne's advice,
"Never kiss them on the mouth."

Well, I already mentioned a bunch of St. Patrick's Day lyrics, but I thought I'd still specify that there are a lot of great St. Patrick's Day songs. These are some of my favorite Irish songs to sing, As well as just some of the popular Irish songs to sing by others. I'm sure I'm missing a bunch, but I'll add more in the future.

• An Irish Lullaby
• Danny Boy
• Fiddler's Green
• Finnegan's Wake
• Happy Birthday From Ireland
• Jedi Drinking Song (can't forget this one)
  
• Johnny Jump Up
• Old Dun Cow
• Patriot Game
• Rattlin' Bog
• Seven Drunken Nights
• The Leprechaun (You're No Irish Laddie)
• The Parting Glass
• The Scotsman
• The Unicorn Song
• When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
• Whiskey in the Jar
• Wild Mountain Thyme
• Wild Rover
  

And once again You can find more St Patrick's Day lyrics on my St. Patrick's Day Party website. So go ahead. Start printing out the lyrics and sing-a-long. You might even enjoy it!

Slainte! (pron. slawn-chuh, it means "cheers" or "to your health")

I am loving the studio right now. Andrew and I had SUCH a productive day working on "Ye Jacobites By Name". He also sent me a mix of the Robert Burns song, "Green Grow the Rashes". It is from our upcoming CD, Real Men Wear Kilts.

Hope ye like!

Listen: "Green Grow the Rashes"

Green Grow the Rashes Lyrics
by Robert Burns

There's nought but care on ev'ry han',
In ev'ry hour that passes, O;
What signifies the life o' man,
An' 'twere na for the lasses, O.

Green grow the rashes, O;
Green grow the rashes, O;
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend,
Are spent amang the lasses, O.

The warly race may riches chase,
An' riches still may fly them, O;
An' tho' at last they catch them fast,
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O.

But gie me a canny hour at e'en,
My arms about my Dearie, O;
An' warly cares an' warly men,
May a' gae tapsalteerie, O!

For you sae douse, ye sneer at this,
Ye're nought but senseless asses, O;
The wisest Man the warl' e'er saw,
He dearly lov'd the lasses, O.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely Dears
Her noblest work she classes, O;
Her prentice han' she try'd on man,
An' then she made the lasses, O.

A few Scots translations: warly: worldly, canny: quiet, tapsalteerie: topsy-turvy, douce: respectable

Beer songs. Yeah, I perform a lot of songs about beer. Some call them pub songs. But more particularly, they are indeed songs about beer. When you play Irish music, you find lots of songs about beer and other forms of alcohol. Here's a few songs that I perform about beer:

1. Beer, Beer, Beer
2. Black Velvet Band
3. Finnegan's Wake
4. Health to the Company
5. Johnny at the Door
6. Old Dun Cow
7. Rosin the Beau
8. Satisfied
9. Seven Drunken Nights
10. The Night Paddy Murphy Died
11. The Parting Glass
12. Wild Rover

You gotta love beer songs. Hell! Ye gotta love beer.

Slaínte!

I love to sing Irish songs on St. Patrick's Day. In fact, I'm out there performing every year despite the fact it's my birthday. That's how I like to celebrate St Paddy's Day. So I compiled some of my favorite St Patrick's Day lyrics so you too can sing-a-long with us.

• An Irish Lullaby
• Beer, Beer, Beer
• Big Strong Man
• Black Velvet Band
• Danny Boy
• Donald, Where's Your Trousers?
• Fiddler's Green
• Finnegan's Wake
• Happy Birthday From Ireland
• Johnny at the Door
• Johnny Jump Up
• Jug of Punch
• Lanigan's Ball
• Old Dun Cow
• Paddy McCollough
• Patriot Game
• Rattlin' Bog
• Rising of the Moon
• Rocky Road to Dublin
• Rosin the Beau
• Satisfied
• Seven Drunken Nights
• The Holy Ground
• The Leprechaun (You're No Irish Laddie)
• The Night Paddy Murphy Died
• The Parting Glass
• The Scotsman
• The Unicorn Song
• When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
• Whiskey in the Jar
• Wild Mountain Thyme
• Wild Rover
  

You can find more St Patrick's Day lyrics or Irish Song Lyrics here. So go ahead. Start printing out the lyrics and sing-a-long. You might even enjoy it!

Cedric of the Bedlam Bards recorded on my cat CD this past weekend. He told me he wrote a filk of "The Ballad of Jayne" in honor of Joss Whedon. I found it at the FireFly website.

You can help Spread the Signal by downloading & forwarding this free Firefly MP3 now.


The Ballad of Joss

Joss, the man they call Joss . . .

He wrote about spaceships and shepherds and whores,
Stood up to the networks and gave 'em what for.
Fox canceled his program, but that was their loss--
The creator of Firefly, the man they call Joss!

Our Joss saw the viewers' hearts breakin',
He heard the Browncoats' lament,
He saw the Fox network takin',
His show in a way that made no sense.
(He said) "You can't do that to my program,
Can't grind it under your heel."
So he took all the cast,
And now at last,
They've landed a Big Damn Movie deal!

He wrote about spaceships and shepherds and whores,
Stood up to the networks and gave 'em what for.
Fox canceled his program, but that was their loss--
The creator of Firefly, the man they call Joss!

Now here is what separates Whedon,
From writers who slave in the core,
The man they call Joss,
Well, he said to Fox,
"I'm going where no show has gone before."
He told us about reavers,
He told us about sin,
He took us to the black,
And we ain't comin' back,
'till all those crazy Browncoats rise again!

He wrote about spaceships and shepherds and whores,
Stood up to the networks and gave 'em what for.
Fox canceled his program, but that was their loss--
The creator of Firefly, the man they call Joss!

Now, here is what separates Firefly
From other shows you're likely to see--
It's meaningful and witty,
And the setting's really gritty,
And the theme song is about Serenity.
It's a little like a western,
And a little like X-Files,
It's better than Trek,
And funnier than Shrek,
And it beats out Andromeda by miles!

He wrote about spaceships and shepherds and whores,
Stood up to the networks and gave 'em what for.
Fox canceled his program, but that was their loss--
The creator of Firefly, the man they call Joss!

--James Hazlerig
fithelere@aol.com
www.BedlamBards.com

From the popular Firefly episode called "Jaynestown". My friend Cedric wrote a cool parody called "The Ballad of Joss". You can also download and share a free Firefly MP3 of this song. I have a "The Hero of Canton" MP3 that you can download for free.


The Ballad of Jayne

Jayne, the man they call Jayne

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne

Our Jayne saw the mudders' backs breakin'
He saw the mudders' lament
And he saw the magistrate takin'
Every dollar and leavin' five cents
So he said "you can't do that to my people"
He said "you can't crush them under your heel"
So Jayne strapped on his hat
And in 5 seconds flat
Stole everythin' Boss Higgins had to steal

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne

Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I
The man they call Jayne
He turned 'round his plane
And let that money hit sky
He dropped it onto our houses
He dropped it into our yards
The man they called Jayne
He stole away our pain
And headed out for the stars

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne.

Oh! And now the Bedlam Bards CD, On the Drift (Firefly and Serenity Music) is now on sale at CDBaby.