by Pam Owens, June 7, 2004

I started playing with this in my head after I sent you the joking list of songs last night for your new "Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers" album! I know it's pretty strange! Comes from 27 years of being an alcohol and drug counselor.

Now I have a little kitten and his name is kitty cat
Make no mistake, he's the cat I'd like to whack
That naughty little kitty he's been tearing up me sack
And I'm hearing that he's throwing up a furball

Kitty cat's downed me sack
Eaten all my snacks and
Kitty cat's got the knack
for getting in me pack and
Kitty cat's going back
He's playing on me wine rack
And I'm thinking that he's nipping at the corks now.

Now that little kitty is too young to be a drinker
He's drinking my rose' and his tongue's a little pinker
Now he's got me ale, that dirty rotten stinker
And he's lapping all the liquor in the house now.

Kitty cat's drinking sack, sneaking all the whiskey
Kitty cat's falling back, looks a little tipsy
Kitty cat's dancing round, licking off his whiskers
And I think the kitty better go to AA.

Now he's stepped it up, and he's into all my drugs,
He's a thieving little kitty and he looks just like a thug,
Who'd a thought a pretty kitty could be pulling such a lug
And I don't know if he's using it or selling.

Kitty cat's cooking crack
Looking like a junkie
Kitty cat's shooting smack
Isn't he a punkie
Kitty cat's off his whack
Feeling not so spunky
And I'm thinking that he'll have to go to rehab.