by Marc Gunn & Andrew McKee, April 1, 2006

With the brilliant success of the Jedi Drinking Song a few years ago, I decided I wanted to write my own Jedi drinking song based on the first movie. I started telling the story, but it just wasn't working for me. So I set it aside and then the next two movies came out. So I started the song again. And this time, it flowed. But in effort to make it better, I invited Andrew to co-write the song. The music is all done. Now we just need to learn the song.

A long time ago before Vader's sexual peak.
I met him there on Tattooine. He drank like he was Greek.
His momma said he's been this way since he was only three.
Qui Gon in awe said, "He's the one to fulfill the prophecy."

Qui Gon took young Anakin the Council for to see.
But Yoda said, "Afraid am I, drink irresponsibly."
So Qui Gon told Anakin, "Watch how I drink and all"
Then poor old Qui Gon drank too many shots with Darth Maul.

So drink yourself a shot of scotch, then down a pint of beer
Do not think that you can drink that boy under a chair.
Because Anakin will slam a beer with a lassie on each knee.
And when he finally sobers up, a sith at last he'll be.

C3P0 was well-designed to be a great bartender.
He could make six million drinks and put you on a bender.
With R2D2 by his side, he had a keg on wheels
And for Amadala, Ani drunk had extra FORCE appeal

I told my master Qui Gon Jinn I'd teach the boy to drink.
"No more than just one pint an hour." Said Anakin, "That Stinks!
Amidala likes me best when I'm all liquered up."
So he used the force to bring a round, then knocked the lassie up.

[solo]
When we drink, drunk we get.
When drunk we are, free of distraction are our minds.
When free of distraction, one with the Force we become.
So drunk let's get and become one with the Force.
(Hurry, we must. Jedi Happy Hour starts at 5.)

Meanwhile, Chancellor Palapatine needed a new lush.
He ordered grog for Anakin so he'd never sober up.
The twins were born but how I wish that one more thing could be.
That all the fans were all quite drunk with Star Wars 1 through 3.

*Jar Jar might've made sense*

*Yeah, I bet George was liquered when he came up with that one*