Marc Gunn - Celtic American Music, Celtic Podcaster, and Cat Lover

About Marc Gunn  ;Buy CDs and Music Downloads   Shows   Marc Gunn Podcasts   Booking

 
 

Marc's Poetry Blog

Bard Marc Gunn's romantic poetry, sad poems, song lyrics, inspirational poetry, Christian, nature, and love poetry.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Virgin Diet

by Marc Gunn, July 19, 2006

On a whim, I decided to put together The Medieval Virgin, a joke magazine based around the song "Do Virgins Taste Better Medley". I asked for a lot of article submissions and one Nagian, Cara Chapel, stepped up to the task with an article about a diet of virgins. A melody and then lyrics just started flowing from me. This is the result.

I've noticed a trend with knights young and old
Counts, Dukes and even King Henry I'm told
Their waists they are growing to sizes ten fold
Now I see me a chance to make lots of gold

So I wandered the world from England to France
Climbed up high mountains, endured gypsy trances
To find a bold diet at the tip of a lance
But dragons were wisest with their eating stance.


Of all the creatures under God's golden sun,
Dragons are healthier than every one
So I interviewed dragons about their sweet fun
That keeps them from weighing much more than ten tons

They sometimes eat cattle but only when spurned
They sometimes eat crops but only when burned
They drink lots of water after it's churned
But the Virgin Diet is the secret I learned
Virgins 1-2-3
Virgins to live healthily
If you're on a diet then listen to me...
Eat virgins and live like a dragon you see
Yes. Virgins are firm and succulent sweet
They have no diseases so they're healthier to eat
Strangely they're filling so you won't overeat.
And fewer calories are found in a virgin's young meat.

Plus, virgins are small and difficult to catch.
They hide in small caves and run very fast
This exercise makes them quite a fun match
So keeping off weight is like mending a scratch.


So I invented a diet Sir Atkins will crave
Just eat plenty virgins and soon you will stave
Off your foul hunger, no longer a slave
Your appetite filled with the hand that you wave.

The one problem now is the dragons are pissed
The virgins are vanishing into the mist
The dragons are gaining weight with a twist
Their blood pressure's so high they die hand over fist

Labels: ,

posted by Marc Gunn @ Wednesday, July 19, 2006

 

3 Comments:

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Poetryman said...

The Virgin Diet a light shade of green,
To hide in the forest ne'er to be seen,
While the dragons drown in their coming of mirth,
The mist doth shadow the Virgin's gaining girth!

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger Poetryman said...

Poetry, the Medieval years, the 60's, music, are the Joys of my life, and after reading a small portion of your blog,it has brightened up my day.

 
At 11:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the song and love the idea of the diet, but a couple or rocket scientist decided to make sure there were no Virgins until all the Dragons were gone, hence there is nothing to eat, so I wound up going to Mc Donald’s.

John B.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Bella Filíocht : Heartfelt Poetry of a Celtic Italian Hopeful Romantic. Get inside the head of Marc Gunn with an uncensored look at my poetry.


Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
. Do you Love CATS? Irish Drinking Songs? Laugh as all your favorite Irish Drinking Songs are rewritten with Cat song lyrics. Your love of Celtic music will never be the same!

Listen now!
"Wild Kitty"
Listen: LoFi  HiFi MP3



Embrace
Indie Celtic music!

Buy CDs
Buy Celtic T-Shirts
iTunes Music Store
Celtic Songs and Folk Music Downloads

Gunn Runners Club
Make a donation

 

 

 


House Concerts

Marc Gunn Merchandise

Celtic Invasion Vacations

 


 


Sponsored Ads
Amazing Gifts from Amazon
Gift ideas for all ages & occasions. The easy way to find great gifts
Burn Music & Create MP3s
Unlimited Downloads, 100% Burn Music CDs & MP3s for Free!
Fantasy Dragons Gifts
"Dragon Aren't Mythical. Virgins Are!" Gifts for dragon lovers of all ages.


Marc's Poetry Blog Site Feed

 

Powered by Blogger

 

Irish heritage? Love cats? Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers
Copyright 2009-2011 Marc Gunn
PO Box 15076, New Orleans, LA 70175, Phone Number (512) 470-4866