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The Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues
words and music Marc Gunn, 12/22/2002

I was flying on a plane to Italy and tired of trying to come up with song ideas for Memories of Middle Earth when I decided to listen to the airline music. I flipped channels, heard an old blues song, turned off the music and wrote this comical song based on Gollum of the Lord of the Rings. I recently re-released on my new CD What Color Is Your Dragon?.

Old Bilbo found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Old Bilbo found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Now I'm hunted by a schizo. Be it Smeagol or Gollum, he's out of his gourd.

Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Yeah, Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Now he's leading me to Mordor, wonders if Sam and I are gay.

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic
    Gollum Blues.
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic
    Gollum Blues.
And if Smeagol don't betray me,
The Dark Lord'll make Headline News.
Sauron'll make the hobbits wear shoes.
Middle-Earth'll sing The Dark Lord Blues.
The Dark Lord'll serve hobbit stew. [gulp]
We'll lick stamps made from hobbit glue.
   [mmm...tastes like chicken]
Samwise better learn some Kung Fu.

At the Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, "They ain't no way!"
[They ain't no way, my Precious-s-s]
At the Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, "They ain't no way!"
[Silly hobbits-s-s, follow Smeagol]
Said, "I'll take you to Shelob. She'll have a hobbit filet."

Well, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked.
[Out of my mind]
Yeah, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked.
[The precious-s-s is mine!]
So Gollum bit the ring off, and did a Swan Dive in the Crack.

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic
    Gollum Blues.
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic
    Gollum Blues.
And if Gollum'll just betray me,
I'll finally take that Elven Cruise!

 

 

Do you like this poem? Pick up your Copy of Bella Filíocht, my new poetry book.

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