The Psychopathic,
Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues
by Marc Gunn, Bard 12/22/2002
I was
flying on a plane to Italy and tired of trying to come up with song
ideas for Memories of Middle
Earth when I decided to listen to the airline music. I flipped
channels, heard an old blues song, turned off the music and wrote
this comical song based on Gollum of the Lord
of the Rings.
Old Bilbo
found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Old Bilbo found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Now I'm hunted by a schizo. Be it Smeagol or Gollum, he's out of his
gourd.
Sauron
tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Yeah, Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Now he's leading me to Mordor, wonders if Sam and I are gay.
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic
Gollum Blues.
I got
the Psychopathic, Chronic,
Schziophrenic
Gollum Blues.
And if Smeagol don't betray me,
The Dark Lord'll make Headline News.
Sauron'll make the hobbits wear shoes.
Middle-Earth'll sing The Dark Lord Blues.
The Dark Lord'll serve hobbit stew. [gulp]
We'll lick stamps made from hobbit glue.
[mmm...tastes like chicken]
Samwise better learn some Kung Fu.
At the
Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, "They ain't no way!"
[They ain't no way, my Precious-s-s]
At the Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, "They ain't no way!"
[Silly hobbits-s-s, follow Smeagol]
Said, "I'll take you to Shelob. She'll have a hobbit filet."
Well,
we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked.
[Out of my mind]
Yeah, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked.
[The precious-s-s is mine!]
So Gollum bit the ring off, and did a Swan Dive in the Crack.
I got
the Psychopathic, Chronic,
Schziophrenic
Gollum Blues.
I got
the Psychopathic, Chronic,
Schziophrenic
Gollum Blues.
And if Gollum'll just betray me,
I'll finally take that Elven Cruise!
Do you like this poem? Pick up your Copy of Bella Filíocht, my new poetry book.
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