1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
   She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
   She is, "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -
   She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
   She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
   She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -
   She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
   She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED".

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
   She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -
   She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" -
    She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
    She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
    She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."